(old people say)
We argued long and hard, this way and that,
about which way was the best
to catch a manicou:
A barrel with some rotting figs
to lure it with the scent;
easy enough to jump in
but no way to climb back out.
Or a wire trap with a trigger
baited with chicken guts,
enters and pulls the entrails
and wham! the cage door shuts.
Or a nylon twine lasso
tied to a strong twig bending-bow,
a fly-stick with a noose above
a shallow hole in the ground
with three days old fish guts.
Next morning the manicou may be found
suspended, swinging from the noose
around the neck or leg but sometimes nothing
but twine twirling in the wind remains when
a manicou's razor teeth are done.
And then there is the manicou fool
enough to cross the street,
may simply be runover or
immobilized by headlights and tire screech;
the driver jumps out, snatches tail,
in one motion smashes head against asphalt
before razor teeth can find their mark
and throws the stinking bundle in the trunk.
But be warned, a manicou when hurt
and in a tight spot will play dead,
play possum (or in local parlance 'play dead
to catch corbeaux alive'), lie quiet
without a hint of movement and at the first
opportune moment make off like a bullet.
In the end we all agreed, the best way
to take care of nocturnal vermin
is a headlamp and shotgun
except for the pellets in the meat.
Which brings me to the cleaning.
The cook must know how and where
to locate and remove the wrenk or 'mist'
to get rid of the stink, marinate in seasoning
of herbs and spices and stew with curry
in coconut milk, the sweetest eating vermin
that there is.
And lest you wax scornful,
make snide remarks about eating rats,
may I remind you my friend that
a manicou is no rodent, not even a mammal,
but marsupial, a unique and classy class of animal.
A manicou is no coochie coo, most feral
of the feral, greets with snarling teeth.
Local forest folklore has it that
the manicou is one beast
that can never be domesticated
and yet I have seen a manicou as a pet,
raised from birth
by a human surrogate mother.
It only goes to show that with love
and perseverance, lots of coaxing and
persuasion, even a manicou can be tamed.
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